The Office: Business School

Ryan invites Michael to be a guest speaker at his business school. Meanwhile, Dwight battles a bat that gets loose in the office while Pam invites co-workers to her first art show. [NBC, Season 3, Episode 3017, 2/15/07]

Best lines:

Ryan: If you bring your boss to class, it automatically bumps you up a full letter grade. So... I'd be stupid not to do it, right?

Michael: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like 12 other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.

Michael: What's the most inspiring thing I ever said to you?
Dwight: "Don't be an idiot." Changed my life.

Jim: Pam's with Roy. I'm with Karen. And Brangelina is with Frangelina. Moving on.

Michael: Campus. Brings back so many memories. That I would have made.

Pam: Dwight, what are you doing?
Dwight: Solving a mystery, if that's quite all right with you.

Toby: The simple solution would be to open a window. If we had windows that could open.

Michael: You cannot learn from books. Replace these pages with life lessons. And then you will have a book that is worth its weight in gold. I know these are expensive. But the lesson is priceless.

Michael: There are four kinds of business. Tourism. Food service. Railroads. And sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.

Michael: You need something to sell. Now this could be anything. It could be a thingamajig. Or a whosi-whatsi. Or a "Whatchamacallit." Now, you need to sell those in order to have a "PayDay." And, if you sell enough of them, you will make a "100 Grand." Satisfied?

Michael: We can't overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails. But real business is done on paper, OK?

Kevin: I... am a hero.

Michael: Yeah sure, you know business. Sitting up here in your ivory tower. And your ebony tower.

Michael: You know what else is facing five Goliaths? America... Al-Qaeda. Global warming. Sex predators. Mercury poisoning. So do we just give up?

Michael: Ryan has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita. And everybody thinks he's a tease. Well you know what? He doesn't know anything, and neither do you. So suck on that!

Ryan: It wasn't personal.
Michael: Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world.

Michael: A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people. People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business.

Pam: Do you have something in your pocket?
Michael: A Chunky. Do you want half?